Breaks my heart!
Lost in the national argument between confronting problems that threaten our existence or continuing to ignore and deny them, is news of the demise of a day-to-day, all-day, everyday item:
The Clock.
My sources, and perhaps most of you, specify it as the “analog” clock because the advent and proliferation of digital clocks have caused their demise. Indeed, analog clock is a retronym, a word or phrase coined for something long in existence but needing distinction from something new. Other examples include rotary phone, black-and-white television, and reasonable Republican.
But distinction breeds extinction, so I refuse to use a word that reminds us of the villainous usurper in hopes that, for at least the duration of my lifetime, real clocks, honest clocks will not be made extinct like the examples named above–may at least hang in there like standard transmission, acoustic guitar, and progressive Democrat.
Or hang on walls. And that’s the news from Nation Wobegon, this oversized country that time refuses to forget where all the men are impatient, all the women are up against deadlines, and all the children see only digital clocks at home, in public, on their mobile and immobile devices.
They go to school–if it’s safe, and today even if it isn’t–and what are they to make of that round circle of numbers and lines on the wall with a little black spoke that never moves, a big black spoke that barely moves, and a long, skinny red spoke that never stops?
Reports this month tell us that American schools are now doing what Great Britain has already done: Replacing all classroom clocks with digital readouts because students can’t read the time-honored real Clocks, or they are confused by them, or they spend so much time trying to decipher the hands-on rotary that it’s a distraction from class.
On the day it was posted on social media, several American teachers chimed in that, yes, this has been true for at least five years. More than one agreed that it was common for students to ask what time it was while facing a wall with a clock right in front of them. Nowhere in the report or in the comments did it say that a response such as “quarter to eleven” had to be translated into 10:45.
Nice to see several commenters raise the most basic point: Wait a minute! Aren’t schools places where things are supposed to be taught?
As for it being a distraction, it distracted me when any of my students looked up at it. In 1992 I was able to tell them that a president lost re-election because he was caught on camera during a debate checking his watch while his opponent was speaking. For college freshmen, at least back then, such a warning seemed to work.
That’s partly why, if any of my former students are reading this, they must be aghast, in shock, or laughing out of control by now. For me to present myself as a Champion of the Clock–or of any kind of time keeping–must strike them as ridiculous as a Republican claiming to be a Champion of Science.
Over 25 years they watched me walk into class, reach up to the clock and take it off the wall first thing, putting it on the desk where they couldn’t see it. Sometimes I’d drop it into the trash for dramatic effect, and then start the class as if nothing happened, as if it wasn’t there and didn’t exist, ignoring any question or expression of surprise.
On every syllabus I had a line forbidding the wearing of wristwatches during class. No time piece was to be visible at any time. “Bury them in your book bag,” as the syllabus said. I mentioned to higher-ups that clocks should be placed on the back wall but went unheeded, and I envied the stage performers at Renaissance faires who have clocks placed in trees on the periphery of the audience with side-shadings so that only they will see them.
Friends with children about to enter college would ask me to give them advice, and it was the first thing I said: Never wear or look at a watch or clock in class. If the clock is on a side wall, sit against that wall and turn your back to it. If it’s in front behind the teacher, sit in one of the front corners and turn your chair toward the center of the room.
For my students, any unease over the timelessness of the ensuing 50 or 75 minutes was dispelled by the second week. They could see that, as I walked around the room, as was my habit, I occasionally glanced at the clock, and would tell them when the end was near. Some of them called it the two-minute warning, no matter if it was one minute or five. Method to the madness.
When we discussed Civil Rights, which was every semester with Martin Luther King’s “Letter from Birmingham Jail” always on the syllabus, I always found some way to mention a line in Malcolm X’s Autobiography: He didn’t trust anyone who did not wear a watch. I’d pause, look down at the discarded clock, and pick it for a moment, shaking my head. We tend to think that comic relief sets up a serious message, but it’s often the other way around. Madness to the method.
And yet there’s a difference between comic relief and comic grief. Hard for me to imagine what I’d do in this age of cellphones and ringtones no matter how playful they are. A classroom subject to that random madness would be beyond my methods, unless aggravated assault and battery is a method. Let’s say I left just in time and leave it at that.
Time never governed me. When I was about eight, Aunt Babe gave me a Mickey Mouse watch which I wore and enjoyed for a few months until it either broke or I forgot about it. Never wore one after that, not even the one given me by a woman who apparently thought she could transform me from a guy who lives a life of improvisation into one who made “plans.” How many times did I hear that depressing word?
When I returned it, we both knew the six-month relationship was over, and I recall the moment every time I hear Linda Ronstadt sing, “we’ll both live a lot longer if you live without me.”
By now you are likely wondering why I would bemoan the disappearance of any clock, any timepiece, any sundial. A fair question given all the evidence to the contrary, but my resistance has been to the imposition of the device, not the device itself.
I gave students their two-minute warning, and I put that clock back on the wall before I left the room. I have clocks in my home and car so that I get to medical appointments, travel departures, and lunch dates early, always a book or magazine in hand. I hear people complain about having to wait while I welcome the opportunity to sit and read.
A clock makes all that possible. That’s why you never see them in shopping malls, where the very architecture is designed to make you forget time, to think only of what is in front of you, to engulf you in a world of consumption with an atmosphere of immediate gratification where appointments, departures, and dates have no place. In a world of Right Now.
Sure, that’s as true of the numerical read-outs as it is of twelve numbers in a circle, but the loss cuts deeper. The real Clock corresponds to the shape of the Earth, 24 time zones defined by 24 hours. There’s a reason that latitude and longitude are expressed in degrees, minutes, and seconds.
Real Clocks, from the simple, small plastic alarms you might keep bedside to the most carefully crafted grandfather you show off in your living room, have an aesthetic, organic appeal that–in an age which regards both aesthetic and organic concerns as fringe–may be the reason for their demise.
If you can forgive an unavoidable pun, digital time-keepers are more in keeping with the times. Now that schools fashion themselves more for the comfort than the challenge of students, they may as well rid themselves of globes as too confusing and distracting–and instead use only flat maps to show names of places and their coordinate numbers. Why trouble with the curve of the Earth or the sweep of time when we can have a single, simple, all-so-certain number?
The real Clock captures the feel of our planet–which could use more feeling about now. The read-out is no more than a place on an assembly line.
Heart-breaking? Yes, because it puts yet another limit on a child’s ability to think.
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The Glockenspiel Tower in New Ulm, Minnesota. Let’s hope it is never replaced by a four-digit LED sign:



The letter S may be missing from the end of the first word in the headline, but from a source that calls itself “Newsiosity,” I’ll chalk that up to whimsy:
























