Those of you under the age of fifty may be surprised to learn that, until about fifty years ago, license plates on cars were nothing more than numbers and letters of one color on a solid background of a contrasting color.
If the backdrop was light, the lettering was sure to be dark, and vice-versa.
Long-distance hitchhikers could easily identify an approaching vehicle and know how far the ride might take them. This was especially helpful to me back when I stood at the intersection of interstates in Portland, Oregon, with two signs: “San Fran” and “Chicago.” Ya, my life was like that back then. A vagabond too long, I was in a hurry to land somewhere where someone knew me.
License plates are like flags. The whole point is to make something immediately clear.
Through the 70s and into the 80s, states gradually made the transition from unadorned plates to colorful works of art. New York featured the Statue of Liberty. Illinois showed Lincoln. Colorado outlined a mountain range, and Wyoming a busting bronco. New Hampshire had the Old Man in the Mountain. Massachusetts was late to the party before it offered us the choice of having a blue whale’s fluke going under.
Today, every state has them, and some states have more than one. Pennsylvania and Florida seem to be in a contest for having the most, and both have plates on which some of the numbers blend in with a multi-colored background. You’ll have an easier time counting the teeth in the mouth of Pennsylvania’s Nittany Lion than you will reading the plate’s number on its back.
Two states with claims to the Wright Brothers show early aircraft. Ohio declares itself “Birthplace of Aviation,” while North Carolina alliterates “First in Flight.” They might yet fight!
I had–I still have–two plates involved in an unlikely controversy:


In the mid-80s, no doubt egged-on by South Dakota’s award-winning Mt. Rushmore plates–or “tags” as they are called out West–North Dakota’s governor assembled a committee to design one. This included representatives from the state’s Chamber of Commerce, its tourism bureau, its Lakota (Sioux) and Ojibwa (Chippewa) and Mandan/Hidatsa/Arikara reservations, its universities, its arts council, its newspapers, its this, its that, and so on.
As you might guess, each one wanted to depict his or her thing, and the solution they arrived at was to morph them all into about six that they “included.”
The result may have been fine for a poster on a wall or a page in a book, but for a 6″ x 12″ attachment to moving vehicles, it was so ridiculous that my friend, Randy Bradbury, a reporter for the Bismarck Tribune at the time, told me that it became a heated issue in state-wide elections and cost the governor re-election.
“So hideous, so confused, so incoherent, so bad,” he wrote, that “many people refuse to put it on their cars.” When North Dakotans kept driving with old plates after the announced expiration, the controversy was so hot that not one was stopped and ticketed. Call it a white flag of a tag.
I was visiting there in the summer of ’89, and there were very few “committee tags,” as they were ridiculed, to be seen. Most cars still had the same unadorned plates I had when I lived there in ’78 and ’79. To see what was on the new ones, you had to stand fairly close to a hodge-podge of (if memory serves): Sacagawea, a wagon train, a farmstead, the state capitol, Badlands, and Teddy Roosevelt. (Wasn’t he from New York?)

Honestly can’t tell if that’s a wagon train or the cavalry, or if it’s Sacagawea or some guy who stumbled across the border from Manitoba, a Canadian province with which North Dakota shares a large and very attractive park called the “International Peace Garden.” Also, I think I recall a tractor in there. Or was it Lawrence Welk’s accordion? If you have a magnifying glass handy, let me know.
As Bradbury noted, the largest image was that of a highway, “giving the impression that the only thing to do here is to get the hell out!”
Ah, the memories!
All of them stoked by a flag that has dotted the landscape, including in front of Newburyport City Hall, during “Pride Month.” At a glace it appears to be the Gay Pride Flag that we have seen for years.

But then we notice more: Five more colors angling in from the left in a sideways triangle atop the six primary and secondary colors of the rainbow.
The original Gay Pride Flag, or the Rainbow Flag was simple, straightforward (pun or not), easy to identify and identify with since we all know rainbows and the metaphor is easy to grasp. The new version is called the Progress Pride Flag, and you can find websites that explain what each of the now eleven colors represent.
One reason I hesitate to list them is that there is already a version newer than what is flying in front of City Hall. Inside the white triangle is now a yellow triangle with a purple circle. Hard not to anticipate that, before long, a counter triangle will enter from the right with yet more shades to represent the Cross, the Crescent and Star, the Star of David, Buddha, Zen, and whatever Sitting Bull held in his hand when Custer died for our sins.
At what point does the push for inclusion become confusion? Or intrusion?
Let me be clear: I fully support gay rights, marriage equality, and adoption by gay couples. If I avoid using terms such as non-binary, cis, intersectional community, aromantic, and LGBTQ (Or is it LGBTQA now, and is there a plus-sign at the end of it?), it’s for the same reason I avoid words such as appropriate, whatever, utilize, and you guys–and will never use plural pronouns for one person. To me, these are matters of language, not prejudice–what I practice, not what I prefer.
You’ve heard the phrase “tin ear”? The Progress Flag is for people with tin eyes. For the rest of us, clutter does not flutter.
The Rainbow Flag–including bumper stickers and clothing–has always been a welcome sight. Tasteful. Classy. Clear. Like a national flag, it offers a unified overview of whom and what it represents–leaving all the details for the documents it represents.
As all good flags do–and as all rainbows do–it sings E Pluribus Unum. The Progress Flag babbles E Pluribus Pluribus.
You might as well fly a printout of the Constitution in place of the Stars and Stripes. I may call it an eyesore, but, if he’s still with us, there’s a former governor of North Dakota who might like it.
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