If you’re a Boston Red Sox fan, you can be excused if you think A Comedy of Errors is the title of a forthcoming book about this 2022 season. Shakespeare himself might concede a better claim.
The misplay reached a dramatic climax Sunday when our rookie center fielder, already suspect for misjudging fly balls, misplayed three of them, turning a close game into a Kansas City blowout. It’s a wonder that the number on his back isn’t E8.
Errors? Not according to the official scorer. Not at all. Those were triples.
Yet another reason to wonder why major league pitchers don’t go on strike demanding honesty in scoring rather than giving the fielder every benefit of doubt even when there is no doubt.
Red Sox were seeing a lot of this from a few other players, including a starting first-baseman who accumulated eight home runs and not quite 30 RBI in this season’s first four months. Had he done that in two months, he’d be rated an average first-baseman. His .208 batting average is worse than bad. Making it yet worse, he strikes out so often that he should be the first player in MLB to have a letter rather than a number on his back:
K, the scorer’s symbol for a strike out, and backwards to indicate a called strike.
Few notice, but the bat always stays on his shoulder when he slumps back to the dugout with a hangdog face after the ump’s call. For comic effect, the Bard himself couldn’t script it better.
Last week we traded for a new first-baseman to replace Mr. Strike-Out, but we cut our gold-glove outfielder in favor of Mr. Three-Base-Error. Worse yet, last week we traded our catcher of nine years, considered among the best in baseball, while still in contention for the playoffs. Still worse, he went to one of the two best teams in our own league.
For casual readers unaware of baseball’s intricacies: Catcher is by far the most difficult and demanding position in the game–many jocks say in all of sports. He has to know every pitch thrown by each pitcher and call each pitch thrown to each opposing batter. He has to withstand pitches that bounce up from the dirt or are tipped back at him at speeds up to 100 mph. He has to hold runners on base, and if they attempt to steal, he has to rifle a strike 120 feet to second base or 90 feet to third. He has to catch pop-ups straight overhead that return to earth with a vicious curve quite unlike the predictable arc of a ball pulled or sliced or hit straight out into the field. He has to take throws from outfielders and make sweeping tags at opponents running toward him full tilt. And he has to do all of the above while wearing more pounds of padding than most of can but look at on a hot summer day.
This is why, years ago, a pitcher for the Miami Marlins declared that the catcher is the most valuable player on every team. That overlooks some duds playing the role, but I think most fans would agree that a catcher who excels at all of the above hitting .250 is as or more valuable than any other player hitting .300. Our former catcher is now batting .277 for the Houston Astros.
Back in Boston, the front office, the coaches, and players all keep insisting that they are still in it to win. Their ability to parrot the platitude with straight faces should make all aspiring actors envious.
As with Shakespeare, everything works on more than one level. The Red Sox are an error-plagued team on the field, and if base-running blunders were scored as errors, MLB might be compelled to send the entire team back to the minors and let the Caribbean national teams take turns filling out the schedule. (Imagine the new Fenway chant: Cuba si! Yankee no!)
As Boston’s most prominent sports columnist scowled, “Boston fans are paying the highest ticket prices in the league to watch minor league players learn on the job.”
For all that, the fatal errors have been made by the front office.
In addition to the first-baseman who can’t hit, the outfielder who can’t catch, the catcher now out, and the runners who keep making outs, we had a power hitting, high on-base-percentage first-baseman when last season ended, only to let him go–to the National League where he is now among home run leaders.
How Shakespeare could put a front office on baseball’s diamond stage is anyone’s guess, but my guess is that he’d make the Red Sox represent all of MLB the way that individual characters represent good or evil in morality plays.
And he would set it at the Trade Deadline.
Who couldn’t laugh at suits intoning about “the integrity of the game” while the best and richest teams skim the best players from the “small market” teams that fall out of contention in mid-season? Or while scheduling games to start in the late afternoon when outfielders are blinded by a sun low over the horizon, all for the sake of television contracts?
With so many obvious errors scored as hits, this 21st Century Comedy of Errors is an undisputed hit.
But it is about far more than the team in Boston, and has been running far longer than this one year. While the errors we see on the field may be funny, the comedy we don’t see is very dark.
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